This song perfectly expresses how I have been feeling now for the past few months. It is in silence that He has spoken the loudest to me over these past few months....and for this I am grateful. As you are probably aware, it is in the areas of our giftings that the enemy loves to attach; and this is exactly what has been happening in my heart and in my life since early 2011.
At a conference I attended earlier this year, I took on a challenge to read only the Bible for thirty days. This was the beginning of something much bigger than I thought it would be. Have you ever had moments of questioning? Well, I pretty much have been questioning pretty much everything in my life. From "Why and I really here?" to "Did I raise my children well?" to "Am I gonna continue to go around the same mountain again and again and again?" to "Ugh....I will never be used for the things He has for me." to "Why bother?". Not wanting to sound sad or depressed, because it really wasn't anything like that. It was a deep soul searching....moments of being real before Him in ways that I never have before. Just me and Him. No one else probably even know what is going on (until now)....no one probably even cared (until now)....and I believe that is the way He wanted it to be (until now)......just the two of us. I question; He answers. Then He questions and I answer. Honestly, deeply, unashamedly and unabashedly completely open to what He has for me.
It is only now that I am ready for the things He has in store for me for the next season of my life. Only now that He has prepared me for the things that He desires to do in me. Still, there is an underlying "wait". This is the reason this song fits my life so perfectly right now. Waiting......it is not at all a game....for me it is a lifestyle. Really, for me it is the only way to life....waiting on and waiting for Him. An anticipation like no other. A love like no other..... so I continue to.....wait.....
Posts
