A Visitor Here

Today I was supposed to work, but for reasons that have the potential to depress me if I talk about them, I did not work.  While driving home, I realized that I was going to be able to attend the remaining church service.  I found a place to park and as I entered the church building, the new pastor (whom I have yet to meet) was saying something about "the people parish....or as my father used to say they will find a new parish."  Everyone laughed and then he proceeded with his sermon.  It was an odd feeling I had as I approached the sanctuary and began the search for my hubby among the many who were all looking toward the pulpit.  I was unable to find him and thought that perhaps he had not attended the service today for some reason.  It was at this point that it occurred to me that this feeling is something that many have felt when entering a church.  It has only been about 2 months since I was last attended church due to my work schedule.....how must it feel for those who have not attended for many years or maybe never!  It must be absolutely, overwhelmingly uncomfortable.  This is my church home and when I didn't see Dale there today (he told me later that he was sitting on the back row which is up against the wall...the only place I didn't search for him) I simply left.  It was a very uncomfortable feeling to be there in the middle of it all and to not feel a part of it all.  This feeling stuck with me this whole afternoon and I can only imagine how those who have been gone from church for so long must feel extremely uncomfortable.  Hopefully, soon I will be able to attend again and my work schedule will change so that that is possible.  If not, I will continue to listen to K-Love, read my Bible each day and study His work and pray.  Just because I am not there physically at church, I am staying connected to the Vine through time spent talking with Him (prayer) and time spent listening to Him (reading His work and time spent following His example (doing things in my life that He has called me to do).  I do miss many in my church family and have heard that a few miss me as well. It was a strange feeling today to be back in church, but I feel the Lord showed me that he wants me to be a bit more compassionate toward other "visitors" when they get up the nerve to come back to church or actually show up for the first time. :)