Insights

As I was driving to work (some of my best conversations with the Lord take place in my car on the way to or home from work) I was listening to a CD I recently received from a friend. The song is by Hill Song. Anyway, as I was driving, the words to the song began to penetrate my heart as never before. This is a song we have sung several times at church and still the words never really penetrated my heart in quite the way it did on this particular morning. The words are as follows:

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your Word I will believe
I wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit make me new

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your Word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever out God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

As i began to allow these words to make their way into my heart, I began to really think about what the song is saying. Here is what I gained from my prayer time while playing these words over and over in my head this evening.

Your grace is enough (His grace is sufficient to cover me completely)

More than I need (Not that I deserve it, but that I NEED it)

At your Word I will believe (I will take your Word at face value, fully and without doubt)

I wait for You (Waiting requires patience for a response, not a demand to "show up" as I see fit)

Draw near again (How quickly I am drawn away from Him and from His presence when I focus on me and what I want)

And Your Spirit I am free (It was for freedom that we were set free, so what is it today that keeps me bound?)

And I will fall at your feet, I will fall at your feet (Surrender is a hard thing and He would never ask me to do so if it wasn't for my good. He willingly took the fall for me, so I need to be willing to fall to my knees in worship.)

And I will worship You here (Not "here" in regard to the physical place in which I am currently, but rather "here" in the Spiritual place in which He is found and resides and "here" in the place or condition of my heart. Worship is something I do because of Who He is, not because I want or don't want to do it. It is an action, not a feeling.)

Freely You gave it all for us (Freely: completely without hesitation. Jesus knew what was coming and freely gave His live in exchange for mine. Why is it then that I have a hard time freely giving Him the worship He so willingly deserves, or find difficulty in giving Him parts of my heart that I am reluctant o let go of?)

Surrendered your life upon that cross (Surrendered: gave it up....willingly, complete and totally knowing full well what was about to be endured)

Great is the love poured out for all (The love that was portrayed on the cross that day was for everyone. Not just those who believe, not for those who were there on that day of history, but for all of mankind for as long as there is humans. Greatest love the world has ever experienced.)

This is our God (This is Who we worship....the One and True God)

Lifted on high from death to life (Conquering death and overcoming the grave to bring life to all of mankind)

Forever our God is glorified (His glory is eternal and cannot be taken from Him.)

Sovereign King (Holy and Exalted One)

Rescued the world (Did all of this to save us, not to gain anything for Himself)

This is our God

I was also reminded of the sermon from a few weeks ago. Pastor Arte had shared about the full armor of God and how we are to daily put on the armor and use what He has given us. I struggled when it came to sharing with others the area of the armor that I am lacking. In the car as this song was playing this morning, I got a picture of myself fully decked out in the armor of God. The breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation....every piece was there, every one accounted for and attached to me securely. The problem is that when I am faced with an opportunity to change my ways and follow His ways in a particular area of my life, I am fully armored but as soon as a fiery dart is aimed and released , set to hit me, I turn around and curl into a ball. My back is totally exposed as I shutter at the arrows that go around me. One after the other, until one hits its mark and I am wounded. A soldier for the Lord, fully armed and totally unaware of how to use the weapons He has bestowed upon me. This is going to change though.....and it has to some degree.

After that awful moment of awkwardness in church that Sunday when I refused to move out in faith and choose instead to once again cower in fear, the Lord began to speak very clearly to me through the reading of His Word and through the encouragement of others that I am to learn how to use the weapons He has given me. Since that Sunday, I have faced more than a few times where I could choose to take a stand and face the fiery darts coming my way, or once again cower and try to take cover. The picture I got in my head is that when I cower, I leave my entire backside open and vulnerable. A perfect target for the enemy to aim His darts. When I face the enemy head -n with my armor in place and extend my shield of faith and remind him that the helmet I wear indicates that I belong to the Lord, and use my sword (God's Word) to deflect the darts, then I have victory! Then I have victory!

Jesus freely gave it all for me on the cross that day. When He asks me to give a part of my heart to Him and allow Him to change me from the inside out (as I know He will never take it without permission) hen and only then will I have victory in my life over the things that bind me. Fear is a great big stumbling block for many, and I am no exception. To face fear head-on and do what it is that He wants me to do.....this is what I desire for my life. This is victory in Jesus....the only true victory that there is and so available to those that would ask.

Next time I ask God, "Why?"......I will rest assured that the answer is "Because I love you" and "Because I see the bigger picture". Trust is a beautiful thing.....hard but beautiful. Wanting to be more like Him and less like me....I will put on my armor and face the giants in my life....head-on from now on!