Week Two of Esther

I have decided I don't like Xerxes. Hoping something happens that will make me feel a tad bit better about him as I continue to read through Esther, but not likely in mt mind at this point in time.

This weeks study has been a bit more stressful for me as we dive into the Word and see what gems we can find in Esther's story. Comfort, however, is found in the fact that women then struggled in the similar ways to how we do now. I'm thankful in the fact that today we have, to some degree, been given (I prefer to think we have worked hard in order to gain) the right to be more than just objects of beauty and desire. Hard to swallow the idea that we are simply here for someone elses delight. I simply cannot for the life of me wrap my mind even remotely around that concept.

Having been raised by a dad that loved and respected me for me and who raised me to expect the same from anyone I dated and certainly anyone I would marry, has helped me to honor the relationship between a man and his wife. One of respect, and dignity and grace.....rather than one of fear, concern and stress. Often I have found myself overcome with emotion at those times of feeling extremely blessed that the Lord saw to it that I would not compromise or sacrifice (even prior to being a Christian, thanks in part to my dad's loving instruction and guidance) my personal convictions and ethics in order to gain approval or attention from a man. This is one of the reasons that my husband has stated that he first felt drawn to me. That I had an inner sense of who I am and Who I belong to. You see, when you belong to the Lord of all lord.....the King of all kings...... there is no need to fill that space that only He can fill.

My husband is many things to me and I am ever grateful for him and his wisdom, love, understanding, compassion, laughter, humor, tolerance of my "moments", the way he loves me when I am unlovable, the times when he gets frustrated with me to the point that all he can do is pray...and he does go and pray rather than voice his frustrations, and the way he can look at me and we both start laughing because we know EXACTLY what the other is thinking and what the next thing to be said will be. BUT, the Lord is the first love of my life. He is my rugged Rock, my safe Shelter, my perfect Protector, my every Everything. The Lord showed me a long time ago that my husband is my "beneift". He is someone that the Lord has given me here on earth to be a partner, a lover, a best friend, a supporter, and an encourager.....not my lord. The best thing I/we can do for my/our marriage is to never forget that above all else...Jesus.

The reoccuring inner question I faced this week is as I studied Esther is this....would I risk it all and say that nothing/no one surpasses the knowledge of knowing Christ as Lord? The answer is absolutley, a resounding "Yes and Amen!" I shared this with Dale and his response was, "Sorry Honey, you know you are my number one girl. But Jesus will always be my Number One." I told him that being number two never felt better!