While driving home the other night, I was thinking about the fact that it was soon to be May. Also, recently, while attending a women's gathering, I was once again inspired and encouraged to share some of the things God has placed on my heart to share with the women within my "circle of influence". With these things being said, I have decided to write a blog a day for the entire month of May.
Now if you know anything about my life and know the crazy schedule I keep, you may be saying to yourself, "What is that girl doing? Is she crazy?" Don't worry, you are not alone in that thinking......I too have questioned this idea of posting a blog every day for 31 days. After much prayer and asking the Lord to guide me, I really do feel that this is something that He has planned for me for this time in my life.
Finding a few moments to carve out of my day to create a blog post will be a challenge. But my personal experience is that He never asks us to do something that does not require some sort of sacrifice. I guess "finding Big Foot" and "The Voice" will have to wait.....I am blogging! LOL!
It will be interesting to see where He would lead me with this idea. So, without further delay, here is my first of 31 daily blogs. Please be praying as I seek to do what it is that I feel He is asking me to do here. :)
May 1st
Ever wonder why your life took a particular, unexpected turn? Dale and I were talking about this the other night. But, before you read any further, I do want to share this: this subject can sometime cause disputes among women....the subject of being a "Stay At Home" mom and a "Working Mom". I personally do not like these terms, as they seem to immediately draw a line between women, and we think we have nothing in common and should "stick with our own kind", so to speak. With that being said, I have walked in both sets of shoes and have enjoyed aspects of both "roles" and have disliked aspects of both as well.
When I was a SAH mom, I hated the question, "What do you do?" (meaning "What is your line of work/your job etc). I would usually reply, "Everything! I don't have a "job"....but I DO work!" Then when I became a "Working Mom", I would get asked, "Oh, well, don't you feel like you have neglected your children?" Seriously, people, are you really that insensitive? Or my favorite, "What do you do?", then I reply and they would ask, "Well, doesn't your husband support you?" My reply has not changed throughout the years, "We work together to make ends meet."
Now that I have established that I am not seeking an argument of otherwise want to create an atmosphere of upsetting anyone, or offending anyone, I would like to share my personal experience in this area of being a mom.
When we were first married, I did not have a job outside of our home. Almost four years later, when Zach came along, I was a SAH mom for the first four years of his life. It was when I was two weeks away from delivering our daughter, Alyssa, that a turn took place in our lives that would change the road in which I was traveling along. Dale lost his $30/hour job (great wage today...let alone a great wage in 1993) and we were faced with some very rough decisions. He was working at a facility that manufactured missile and Space Shuttle parts. He was the Leadman of a 26 person crew and they all worked in the "Mix Room"....a large warehouse where they made all of the adhesives for the various gaskets that they use in creating such items and were they painted all of the parts and shells for the items they made. As part of the "Separation Package" the company offered when they laid him off, they offered to send him to a trade school so he could be better able to find work elsewhere. This schooling was free, but would take two years to complete. He had always had an interest in cars and loved to work on them from as far back as anyone can remember, so after much prayer and lots of confirmation, he attended a trade school and became an ASE Certified Mechanic/Auto Body Technician. In order to make ends meet, I took a job as a cashier at the local K-Mart when Alyssa was just two weeks old. It was soon after starting that there was an opening in the Electronic/Home Improvement department, so I was promoted to that area. It was here that I first learned to mix paint. :)
After about 6 months of working there, I heard of a fulltime position available at a local hardware/lumber store for a cashier. I applied and was hired that day....working both jobs for two weeks before going fulltime at the lumber store. This job allowed us to have some benefits, something we did not have as Dale was still attending school and working a part-time job installing windshields. I continued to get promoted within my company and within 3 years, I was promoted to Retail Manager and was the leader of over 20 other employees. I was one of two women within our company that held ANY position at all that was not a secretary.
While at work one day, I received a letter that was addressed to me (still not sure how that happened) and it was inviting managers to join a company called Copeland Lumber with locations throughout Oregon. My parents had moved to Oregon and I loved to visit the ocean and all that IS the Oregon coast. We began to pray that if this was something for us, that God would make a way for us to move to Oregon. That was in May of 1998. In Sept of that same year, we came to Oregon once again on vacation and I was interviewed by three Copeland Lumber stores (one in Newport, one in Waldport and one in Seaside). I was offered a job at two of them and took the one in Newport.....as a counter clerk. I moved to Oregon two weeks later, and then Dale, Zach and Alyssa moved in February once our house in Utah sold. I worked at Copeland's for 1 year when one day my manager sent my to a new Sherwin-Williams store to purchase some paint to repaint a lumber sign outside of our building.....another unexpected turn. I was asked to come in later that day for an interview and a month later, I was working part-time at Sherwin-Williams and part-time at a local coffee shop...once again, to assist with making ends meet. In the meantime, Dale had opened his shop and was restoring and maintaining old Volkswagen's at his shop Old Volks Restoration. After 1-1/2 years as a part-time employee, I applied for an accepted the position of Assistant Manager. At that time, I was one of three women in our District (approx 20 stores) who actually worked in the store (rather than at a credit office or District office). We recently had a District wide meeting for all of the women in our District and there were 22 women in attendance! I was shocked! In July, I will celebrate 13 years of working at the same store location in Newport. I love my job and cannot imagine my life any other way, but it is so interesting to me to think of all of the turns that my life took in order to get me to this place. If you would have told me almost 19 years ago that I would be where I am today doing what I am doing, I would have thought you were crazy!
Sometimes (well...honestly, oftentimes), God has a plan and it is different that what I visualize for my life and for my family. Being a SAH mom had huge blessings for all of us......but my having a job outside of our home had some unexpected blessings. The biggest blessing being that it allowed Dale to have time with our kids that he otherwise wouldn't have had since owning his own business allows him a bit more freedom that a "regular job".
Now that I have shared my journey from "SAH Mom" to "Working mom", I would like to close with this thought. Which ever way is right for you and your family, may the Lord bless you. May you never experience the hurtful words of another mom who is on the "opposite side of the fence" and may you do what is best for you and your family. Blessing to each one of you moms out there....working in or out of the home, you each have a juggling act to perform each day. And to you gals who aren't moms or who don't want to ever be a mom (I know that you exist as my sister is "one of you"), know that you are valued and loved beyond words! Ladies, to each of you I want to add.......What you "do" matters....no matter what it is that you "do"!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Breathing....Easier Than It Seems
Seems like there are so many things happening and so quickly as well.....not just in my life but in the lives of many around me. I am heartsick when I think about the storms of life that some of my friends are currently facing. Then my emotions swing toward being curious about what the future will bring for a loved one.
Not sure exactly when the following first started, maybe it is just a part of everyday life, but I found myself actually NOT breathing for a moment today. Weird, huh? I was at work and a customer was upset about the price of a gallon of paint that she had ordered. Her main reason for being upset was that she had purchased the same type of paint over two years ago and paid $12 less per gallon. I was breathing as I explained that due to the price increase of raw materials, the price increased seven times last year. She yelled back a reply that honestly I cannot repeat, and that is when it happened. I stopped breathing! She continued to yell at me and I stood there frozen, still and not breathing at all. She stormed out and I was left standing there with a tinted gallon of paint that she refused to purchase. As I was processing exactly what had just happened, it hit me. An "ah-ha" moment in which I realized that I had stopped breathing in order for the Lord to speak to my heart and stop a response that would have been less than perfect (from a customer service standpoint....or from His standpoint, more importantly).
See, there was a time in my life when I could completely stop myself from crying. Yes, hard to imagine that if you know me well these days. Seriously though, when I was younger, if I began to cry and someone made fun of me for it or teased me about it, I could simply hold my breath for a moment and instantly and completely stop the cry. It used to really make my dad upset when I decided to do this little "trick" in the middle of a spanking! What had changed about this fact in my life? What happened that now when I cry, I can hardly contain myself? I know that it is the Lord in me. He is allowing me to release all the pent up tears from years of suppression.
Now back to the breathing. At times when I am attacked and I don't fight back, I tend to retreat. It is sad but true of me...you get one or the other response. This is when I stop breathing; a signal much like the calm before a storm. Today, the Lord taught me that when I am in that moment of panic while being bombarded with the words of an angry person, I tend to hold my breath and inwardly I retreat. Typically, I then retaliate with a few words of my own toward the person that is screaming at me. Today though, what was the difference?
Just as the Lord restored my tears from the hurts of my past, so He allowed me to stop breathing long enough today...not to catch me breath before retaliating...but to allow me time to be scooped up under his wings of comfort and protection. Safe under His wings, I am able to "take" whatever verbal bashing that comes my way. This has happened to me before, but today, I really stopped to ponder it all. Amazing what I can discover about the Lord when I allow Him to speak to me in a vulnerable moment and allow Him to show me a bit of myself that needs some repair of some sort.
Just when I begin to think back about where I came from and "how far I have come" since meeting Jesus as Savior, I hold my breath again and remember, that He is the Giver of ever breath I take.....as well as those I hold when prompted by Him. Hmmm......learning about myself while learning more about Him and discovering, truthfully, just how far away from Him I am at any given moment......(holding my breath again). Brings new meaning to the words, "So close, but yet so far."
If you find yourself frozen, still and afraid of whatever you are afraid of, I urge you to take a moment, hold you breath and allow the Lord to breathe new life into you today. You will be refreshed in a way that only He can.
Not sure exactly when the following first started, maybe it is just a part of everyday life, but I found myself actually NOT breathing for a moment today. Weird, huh? I was at work and a customer was upset about the price of a gallon of paint that she had ordered. Her main reason for being upset was that she had purchased the same type of paint over two years ago and paid $12 less per gallon. I was breathing as I explained that due to the price increase of raw materials, the price increased seven times last year. She yelled back a reply that honestly I cannot repeat, and that is when it happened. I stopped breathing! She continued to yell at me and I stood there frozen, still and not breathing at all. She stormed out and I was left standing there with a tinted gallon of paint that she refused to purchase. As I was processing exactly what had just happened, it hit me. An "ah-ha" moment in which I realized that I had stopped breathing in order for the Lord to speak to my heart and stop a response that would have been less than perfect (from a customer service standpoint....or from His standpoint, more importantly).
See, there was a time in my life when I could completely stop myself from crying. Yes, hard to imagine that if you know me well these days. Seriously though, when I was younger, if I began to cry and someone made fun of me for it or teased me about it, I could simply hold my breath for a moment and instantly and completely stop the cry. It used to really make my dad upset when I decided to do this little "trick" in the middle of a spanking! What had changed about this fact in my life? What happened that now when I cry, I can hardly contain myself? I know that it is the Lord in me. He is allowing me to release all the pent up tears from years of suppression.
Now back to the breathing. At times when I am attacked and I don't fight back, I tend to retreat. It is sad but true of me...you get one or the other response. This is when I stop breathing; a signal much like the calm before a storm. Today, the Lord taught me that when I am in that moment of panic while being bombarded with the words of an angry person, I tend to hold my breath and inwardly I retreat. Typically, I then retaliate with a few words of my own toward the person that is screaming at me. Today though, what was the difference?
Just as the Lord restored my tears from the hurts of my past, so He allowed me to stop breathing long enough today...not to catch me breath before retaliating...but to allow me time to be scooped up under his wings of comfort and protection. Safe under His wings, I am able to "take" whatever verbal bashing that comes my way. This has happened to me before, but today, I really stopped to ponder it all. Amazing what I can discover about the Lord when I allow Him to speak to me in a vulnerable moment and allow Him to show me a bit of myself that needs some repair of some sort.
Just when I begin to think back about where I came from and "how far I have come" since meeting Jesus as Savior, I hold my breath again and remember, that He is the Giver of ever breath I take.....as well as those I hold when prompted by Him. Hmmm......learning about myself while learning more about Him and discovering, truthfully, just how far away from Him I am at any given moment......(holding my breath again). Brings new meaning to the words, "So close, but yet so far."
If you find yourself frozen, still and afraid of whatever you are afraid of, I urge you to take a moment, hold you breath and allow the Lord to breathe new life into you today. You will be refreshed in a way that only He can.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Could It Get Worse?
Today was one of those days where I asked myself this question many times. Really? Seriously? Wow!
A drive up river with downed trees, downed power lines only to discover that the person I was picking up today really didn't need a ride, but had no cell reception to tell me this until I was there at 6:30 for the pick up. A corporate visit at work that didn't go well for me....even though I was the one doing things correctly and the person that got kudos was not. A drive home that found me stuck behind a slow moving car from Idaho (no offense if you are from there.....just relaying the facts here). A customer mad at me about the price of a gallon of paint (a common complaint these days). A spray can making session that found me putting waterbased paint into a machine that requires oil based paint to make spray cans sue to another employee shaking the wrong kind of paint. THREE clean-up sessions at the spray can station later and then the customer left because I apparently took to long to make his paint which left me with two spray cans and a partial gallon of paint that no one else will really want to buy.
I share all of this not to make you sad, make you appreciate your life, or make you feel bad for me nor to complain.....but rather to share with you the great joy I feel tonight as I realize that none of this is a surprise to the One who is really in charge here.
Think about it for a moment. Do you remember a time, maybe even today, that you have felt like everytime you turn around there is something else....yes, even something worse....that is staring you in the face? How I react in moments like this is what is important. What I do, what I say, and how I react are the things that God is concerned with. He already knows how I am going to react, what I am going to say, etc. He knows it all and He loves me anyway!
It is with a less heavy heart tonight that I can say to Him, "Lord, I have no idea what the lesson here is, but I ask that You help me to find the point of it quickly and move on!" What a relief when I turn things over to Him as they happen. See, today, I was praying things like: "Father, may the truth be seen in this situation." or "Father, help me to remain calm right now." or even, "Father, let me not take offense to that comment." Rather than getting all "fired up" as I call it, I decided to let the Fire refine me. At the end of the day....I am a better person and closer to my Father because of it.
Praising Him for being my comfort, my support, the holder of my identity, the One who sees me and loves me more than I will ever fathom! Grateful tonight that I am my Beloved's and He is mine! Looking forward to tomorrow....no matter how bad it gets. Because when my focus is on Him, any bad can be made good!
A drive up river with downed trees, downed power lines only to discover that the person I was picking up today really didn't need a ride, but had no cell reception to tell me this until I was there at 6:30 for the pick up. A corporate visit at work that didn't go well for me....even though I was the one doing things correctly and the person that got kudos was not. A drive home that found me stuck behind a slow moving car from Idaho (no offense if you are from there.....just relaying the facts here). A customer mad at me about the price of a gallon of paint (a common complaint these days). A spray can making session that found me putting waterbased paint into a machine that requires oil based paint to make spray cans sue to another employee shaking the wrong kind of paint. THREE clean-up sessions at the spray can station later and then the customer left because I apparently took to long to make his paint which left me with two spray cans and a partial gallon of paint that no one else will really want to buy.
I share all of this not to make you sad, make you appreciate your life, or make you feel bad for me nor to complain.....but rather to share with you the great joy I feel tonight as I realize that none of this is a surprise to the One who is really in charge here.
Think about it for a moment. Do you remember a time, maybe even today, that you have felt like everytime you turn around there is something else....yes, even something worse....that is staring you in the face? How I react in moments like this is what is important. What I do, what I say, and how I react are the things that God is concerned with. He already knows how I am going to react, what I am going to say, etc. He knows it all and He loves me anyway!
It is with a less heavy heart tonight that I can say to Him, "Lord, I have no idea what the lesson here is, but I ask that You help me to find the point of it quickly and move on!" What a relief when I turn things over to Him as they happen. See, today, I was praying things like: "Father, may the truth be seen in this situation." or "Father, help me to remain calm right now." or even, "Father, let me not take offense to that comment." Rather than getting all "fired up" as I call it, I decided to let the Fire refine me. At the end of the day....I am a better person and closer to my Father because of it.
Praising Him for being my comfort, my support, the holder of my identity, the One who sees me and loves me more than I will ever fathom! Grateful tonight that I am my Beloved's and He is mine! Looking forward to tomorrow....no matter how bad it gets. Because when my focus is on Him, any bad can be made good!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Bucket List
My daughter Alyssa and I are about to mark off one more thing on our Bucket List of things to do in our lifetime...we are going to sing a song together in church in a few weeks. A friend has agreed to play guitar as we sing the following song.
Now, Alyssa, she has great voice and although she will be nervous a bit, she is saying she will be "fine with it". I, on the other hand, haven't sang in front of people since I believe...mmmm...sophomore year of high school when I tried out and made the choir when I sang "The Rose" by Bette Middler (with no accompaniment, none the less). Ever since my guitar-playing friend came back from a worship team practice and announced to me, "Well, you and Alyssa are scheduled to sing on Palm Sunday".....the fear has set in. Needless to say, I almost crossed "Sing a song in church with my daughter" off of my Bucket List without actually ever accomplishing it! Seriously, I was tempted! Afterall, who ever sees my Bucket List? Who would know any thing different years from now when I have passed away and my great-great grandchild finds my notebook and says, "Look......great-great grandma Quale sang a song with her daughter in church." Thinking about Alyssa, I remembered that this is on her Bucket List as well. We did not know until recently that we share this Bucket List entry (along with get a professional manicure....but that is side tracking) and how would I be able to convince her to mark it off without actually doing it as well. She reminded me that if I just mark it off, I would be "defeating the purpose."
See, I am one of those people who has no problem talking in front of large groups of people while only singing loudly in the shower. I would never take a shower in front of a large group of people, and I have been known to talk to myself while in the shower.....well, you get the idea! While I know that this is something that He has for me to do, I am a bit nervous...just the same. Then today, the REASON for being so nervous hit me like a ton of bricks. For what I can recall as the first time in my life, I am self-conscious about what others will think of my singing voice...what they will think of me. As soon as I recognized this feeling of "what will they think, what will they say?", I immediately surrendered those thoughts to the Lord! What better way for the enemy to thwart the plans that He has laid out for me at this time than to stop me before I ever even open my mouth!?
See how that comes full circle? Isn't that the enemy's plan in all his schemes......to "defeat the purpose"? He comes to kill, wound, harm, destroy and devour those of us who claim Jesus as Lord. To cause us to doubt that the Lord is bigger than all of these schemes?
Here are the words to the song that Alyssa and I will sing.....with Jesus as our focus and strength. The words are powerful but the One who the words are about is indescribable! This song is all about Him and we are prayerfully going to honor that fact when we share this song that He has placed on our hearts to share.
Beautiful Scandalous Night
To the crimson perpetual tide.
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more,
Go under and be purified.
Follow Christ to the Holy Mountain,
Sinner, sorry and wrecked by the fall,
Cleanse your heart and your soul.
In the fountain that flows,
For you and for me and for all
[Chorus]
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree,
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me,
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white,
On that beautiful scandalous night.
On the hillside you will be delivered,
At the foot of the cross, justified.
And your spirit restored,
By the river that pours,
From our blessed Saviour's side
[Chorus]
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree,
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me,
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white,
On that beautiful scandalous night.
Bridge,
You carry the sin of mankind on your back,
And the sky went black.
Go on up to the mountain of mercy,
Go the crimson perpetual tide.
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more,
Go under and be purified.
[Chorus]
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree,
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me,
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white,
On that beautiful scandalous night.
[Chorus]
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree,
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me,
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white,
On that beautiful scandalous night.
On that beautiful scandalous night,
Beautiful scandalous,
Miraculous night...
Monday, January 30, 2012
Like I've Nothing to Give....
....ever feel that way? Well, I have felt that way for some time now. Seems like every time I turn around, the Lord is requiring that I give up a bit more of me. Realizing that this is what is required to become more like Him, I still often struggle with giving up the secret inner things that keep me from Him. Wanting to be a person who obeys Him, I will give it up when He asks, but I struggle for a bit before coming to that point of complete surrender in that particular area of my heart.
For instance, the Lord has been asking me to forgive others who inquire about my children's current state of rebellion and then offer advice...when in fact they do not even know what we have been through over the past 6 years or so. They cannot understand the depth of heartache and pain, because for the most part we have keep our struggles ever before the Lord...and only occasionally present them openly to others. Then there are those who have judged us....questioned our parenting "skills".....doubted our faith.....pointed fingers.....and even said to my face, "I pray daily that I never have to go through THAT with my child (children)." My heart sinks when I hear things like this. How my heart has longed to hear instead, "I pray daily for your children."
I have learned over this season of my life that God is more than able to uphold me with His mighty right hand. He is more than willing to show me how to love beyond what I see....just as He does with me, really. He, yes HE, knows the plans that He has for my children.....even when all else says otherwise, I choose to believe the truth of what He has shown me.
Was it really a coincident (of course, I believe it was was God's predestined plan) that so many years ago when I was pregnant with my son, that it was THEN that the Lord gave me the life verse for bringing up my children? Jeremiah 29:11 is something that I prayed over them before they were born and literally almost daily since their births. As of late, it is something that the Lord has sung over me as I have had to watch both of my children make some life choices that cause pain and hurt in so many ways. HE is faithful....HE loves unconditionally....HE knows the secret pain that I hold in my heart and have to nearly daily release to Him, over and over and over again.
Prayer is not the least we can do...it is the MOST we can do. For in praying, we are giving up once again that which we never really had in the first place. Anything that is ours....was His first and is His still. Even children are not ours...they too are His. He gives them to us for a time to raise in the best manner we can....... and that is what we did. Of course we have regrets for how we may have handled things in the past, of course we have questioned ourselves....I have even asked God, "Are you sure you wanted me to be a parent? I kinda suck at this in case you hadn't noticed!" He simply reminds me that He knows the plans he has for Zach and He knows the plans He has for Alyssa. None of this is a surprise to Him...He has not once been caught off guard throughout ALL of this. I have learned to release ALL things to Him as He asks and to rely completely and totally on Him for ALL.
Just as He asked Moses so long ago, He has asked of me, "Is there a limit to my power?" The way in which I answer this question, each time it is asked of me...when doubts creep in, when people talk, when others question my abilities, etc etc.....THAT is what He is concerned with. Do I really believe that He CAN change things? That He can move in the lives of the ones I love that seem so very, very far from Him at this time? When my heart is in the right place within Him and His will for my life, the answer is always, "No Lord. There is no limit to your power. I believe that." Other times, I struggle a bit with an occasional, "But...". He is quick to ask again, "Is there a limit to my power?" Sometimes it takes a bit of time in prayer to move my heart in the right direction, but really....isn't that what faith is all about? Trusting when I cannot see what is coming next? He is more than able to do far and above all that I can imagine....so maybe at times of doubt, I need to imagine a bit bigger than I have been and ask myself, "What areas do I put a limit on God's power in my life?" It has been a eye-open experience to ask Him to reveal to me those area that I need to release to Him....trust Him in.
Praying for you today that He would help you to answer that question as well. He is asking you today, "Is there a limit to my power?" If your answer, like mine, is "But...", I pray that you would release that to Him and find comfort in knowing that there really is no limit to His power. I look forward to hearing from some of you as to what it is that He reveals to you as you release more and more of your heart and life to Him. Blessings!
For instance, the Lord has been asking me to forgive others who inquire about my children's current state of rebellion and then offer advice...when in fact they do not even know what we have been through over the past 6 years or so. They cannot understand the depth of heartache and pain, because for the most part we have keep our struggles ever before the Lord...and only occasionally present them openly to others. Then there are those who have judged us....questioned our parenting "skills".....doubted our faith.....pointed fingers.....and even said to my face, "I pray daily that I never have to go through THAT with my child (children)." My heart sinks when I hear things like this. How my heart has longed to hear instead, "I pray daily for your children."
I have learned over this season of my life that God is more than able to uphold me with His mighty right hand. He is more than willing to show me how to love beyond what I see....just as He does with me, really. He, yes HE, knows the plans that He has for my children.....even when all else says otherwise, I choose to believe the truth of what He has shown me.
Was it really a coincident (of course, I believe it was was God's predestined plan) that so many years ago when I was pregnant with my son, that it was THEN that the Lord gave me the life verse for bringing up my children? Jeremiah 29:11 is something that I prayed over them before they were born and literally almost daily since their births. As of late, it is something that the Lord has sung over me as I have had to watch both of my children make some life choices that cause pain and hurt in so many ways. HE is faithful....HE loves unconditionally....HE knows the secret pain that I hold in my heart and have to nearly daily release to Him, over and over and over again.
Prayer is not the least we can do...it is the MOST we can do. For in praying, we are giving up once again that which we never really had in the first place. Anything that is ours....was His first and is His still. Even children are not ours...they too are His. He gives them to us for a time to raise in the best manner we can....... and that is what we did. Of course we have regrets for how we may have handled things in the past, of course we have questioned ourselves....I have even asked God, "Are you sure you wanted me to be a parent? I kinda suck at this in case you hadn't noticed!" He simply reminds me that He knows the plans he has for Zach and He knows the plans He has for Alyssa. None of this is a surprise to Him...He has not once been caught off guard throughout ALL of this. I have learned to release ALL things to Him as He asks and to rely completely and totally on Him for ALL.
Just as He asked Moses so long ago, He has asked of me, "Is there a limit to my power?" The way in which I answer this question, each time it is asked of me...when doubts creep in, when people talk, when others question my abilities, etc etc.....THAT is what He is concerned with. Do I really believe that He CAN change things? That He can move in the lives of the ones I love that seem so very, very far from Him at this time? When my heart is in the right place within Him and His will for my life, the answer is always, "No Lord. There is no limit to your power. I believe that." Other times, I struggle a bit with an occasional, "But...". He is quick to ask again, "Is there a limit to my power?" Sometimes it takes a bit of time in prayer to move my heart in the right direction, but really....isn't that what faith is all about? Trusting when I cannot see what is coming next? He is more than able to do far and above all that I can imagine....so maybe at times of doubt, I need to imagine a bit bigger than I have been and ask myself, "What areas do I put a limit on God's power in my life?" It has been a eye-open experience to ask Him to reveal to me those area that I need to release to Him....trust Him in.
Praying for you today that He would help you to answer that question as well. He is asking you today, "Is there a limit to my power?" If your answer, like mine, is "But...", I pray that you would release that to Him and find comfort in knowing that there really is no limit to His power. I look forward to hearing from some of you as to what it is that He reveals to you as you release more and more of your heart and life to Him. Blessings!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
My "Word" for 2012
Each year, I ask the Lord to give me a word that He desires for me to walk in for the year. In the past, my word has been "pray", "rest", "believe" just to name a few. He has used these words each year to bring a new understanding of Him, of me and of others into my life. This year, I have been seeking Him for the "word" He would have for me. Today, during my prayer time, that word was revealed. The word? "SERVE". It is with great anticipation that I look forward to how He will bring this word to fruition in my life and who He will bring into my life to assist in the things He has for them and for me through serving. Very excited! Can I get a "Whoot"?
Monday, January 9, 2012
Getting Real
This song (click on link above to listen/view video of this song) perfectly expresses how I have been feeling now for the past few months. It is in silence that He has spoken the loudest to me over these past few months....and for this I am grateful. As you are probably aware, it is in the areas of our giftings that the enemy loves to attach; and this is exactly what has been happening in my heart and in my life since early 2011.
At a conference I attended earlier this year, I took on a challenge to read only the Bible for thirty days. This was the beginning of something much bigger than I thought it would be. Have you ever had moments of questioning? Well, I pretty much have been questioning pretty much everything in my life. From "Why and I really here?" to "Did I raise my children well?" to "Am I gonna continue to go around the same mountain again and again and again?" to "Ugh....I will never be used for the things He has for me." to "Why bother?". Not wanting to sound sad or depressed, because it really wasn't anything like that. It was a deep soul searching....moments of being real before Him in ways that I never have before. Just me and Him. No one else probably even knew what was going on (until now)....no one probably even cared (until now)....and I believe that is the way He wanted it to be (until now)......just the two of us. I question; He answers. Then He questions and I answer. Honestly, deeply, unashamedly and unabashedly completely open to what He has for me.
It is only now that I am ready for the things He has in store for me for the next season of my life. Only now that He has prepared me for the things that He desires to do in me. Still, there is an underlying "wait". This is the reason this song fits my life so perfectly right now. Waiting......it is not at all a game....for me it is a lifestyle. Really, for me it is the only way to life....waiting on and waiting for Him. An anticipation like no other. A love like no other..... so I continue to.....wait.....
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