Remembering Dad

Yesterday marked one year since my dad passed away. Throughout the day (yes, I worked 11 hours as is usual for my Tuesdays) I kept having little thoughts of moments spent with my dad. We were never really the kind of family that did a lot of things together that wasn't "practical" or "necessary", so the few moments that I have in my memory that were moments of fun or togetherness are treasured.

One moment that will always stick with me is the first time I saw my dad cry. I was about 7 years old and my sister 8 years my senior) had just received a new three speed bike. I was too young to ride it, but I had never seen a new bike other than in the store and I wanted to ride it so badly. My dad decided to have me sit on the handle bars and he would give me a rise. We started toward the corner and there was a VW coming up behind us. I remember yelling,"Let's race it Dad! Let's race it!" He began to peddle fast and I was having a great time with the wind in my face AND we were actually beating the VW! As we approached the corner, my dad began to apply the brakes and I went flying up and over the front of the bike. My dad had forgotten that we were on my sister's NEW bike and that unlike he old bike, these brakes worked well. My face landed on the sidewalk, and I ended up with a large scrape on my face that went all along the right side of my face......from my jaw line to above my eye. It was a really bad scrape and I of course was crying. My mom took care of the wound, and I went to find my dad to tell him I was going to be okay. I found him on the stairway to the basement and he had his face in his hands and he was crying. This was the first time in my life that I saw him cry and it scared me a bit. He kept saying, "I'm sorry." over and over to me. I realized at that moment that my dad was human. That he had feelings and he hurt and his heart was capable of deep feeling.

Years later, and just a few weeks before he passed away, I was at work listening to a Chris Tomlin song titled, "I Will Rise". My dad had stopped by my work as he was in the habit of doing from time to time and he come to my car and asked what I was doing. I told him about the song I was listening to and he said, "Well, let's hear it!" As I restarted the song, we listened to the words Chris sang, "There's a peace Ive come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail, there's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well...." as the song continued, and then came to an end, my dad began to tear up. He said, "Won't that be awesome! To be in the presence of the Lord! I think I'll just hit the floor of heaven when I get there and that's where I'll stay from about a million years or so." Little did either one of us know, that he would just two weeks later, meet the Lord face to face.

So....yesterday, while I was having thoughts throughout the day, I had a peace that my dad has now completed his first year of the million he was planning to just lay before the Lord in reverence and honor and awe. 999,999 years to go and then he spend the next million on his knees before the One who is worthy of all praise.

There are times I think my dad will walk through my door at work and ask me, "What's goin' on?" as he reaches out to give me a hug. If I see a blue fishing hat, I immediately think of him and always will. He loved me and I loved him....although we didn't tell one another very often. That is the only thing I might consider a "regret"....but I prefer to look at it as a lesson..... Take time now to tell others that I love them so that when they are gone I won't feel as though they didn't know.....or that I failed to let them know.